AFC mascots Ranked by Division

AFC East

1) Buffalo Bills

A buffalo is a graceful animal that roams the plains of the midwest. I grew up driving through a state park that allowed me to see these beasts up close, right out of the truck window. A buffalo mascot is not very common and certainly unique, which is the reason they are atop of this division ranking. 

2) Miami Dolphins

The Miami Dolphins used to have a live dolphin in the 1960s at the open end of the Orange Bowl and it would jump out of the water when the dolphins scored. She sadly passed away in ‘68 and since then the Dolphins have had a human mascot running around. A dolphin can only be used for coastal organizations and isn’t cooler than a buffalo, so they sit in second. 

3) New York Jets

A jet: It’s kind of cool, but it is not anything to be riled up about. They have the ability to break the sound barrier and blow things up when called upon. Nothing that screams the best mascot, especially when discussing a dolphin and a buffalo too. Plus, these Jets don’t seem to be working very well or blowing up anything but themselves.  

4) New England Patriots 

A patriot: A person who is willing to defend their country. If it was not for the recent success this dynasty had, some might call this the most boring mascot in the NFL. When you compare it to the rest of the division it does not match up to the grace of a rumbling buffalo across the prairie, the brain of a dolphin, or the ability to strike fear in others like a jet breaking the sound barrier in a foreign country. 

AFC North

1) Cincinnati Bengals

A bengal is a powerful beast that can kill with one bite. They are capable of being completely silent and stalking their prey with such grace that it could make a grown man cry. They do this while being up to 10 feet long and weighing well over 400 pounds. Please try to make an argument on why they are not the best mascot in this division? 

2) Baltimore Ravens

A raven is a bigger sized bird that is black from head to beak and is believed to bring good luck and prevent disaster.  They were often used to deliver messages and complete important tasks. As seen in Game of Thrones they would send a raven from one kingdom to another with a message. If it was shot out of the sky, then it became pretty pointless but still pretty neat. Fun fact I’m sure you did not know: A raven can live up to 45 years. Oh, and Mello is absolutely terrified of anything with wings. 

3) Pittsburgh Steelers

A steeler is a hard-working person that points, edges or covers with steel on an everyday basis. They are to be respected and appreciated day in and day out for how they have helped build this nation we call home. I want to add more to this, but it’s hard to justify them being cooler than a messenger bird and man-eating bengal. 

4) Cleveland Browns

You are literally a color.

AFC SoutH

1) Tennessee Titans

A titan is one of the most powerful forces/beings and is capable of destroying worlds. In mythological stories, only gods are capable of slowing down and stopping these beasts. When looking at this division, do you see anything that would slow down a titan? I didn’t think so.

2) Jacksonville Jaguars

Big Cats are super cool and each of them has a unique array of strengths that help them survive. A jaguar is no different as their spots are used as camouflage to hunt their prey. They often eat their prey in trees to avoid other animals stealing their food. They would do that to a colt and a Texan pretty easily.

3) Houston Texans

A Texan is a hardworking individual that is very passionate about their state and does their part to keep it great. Texans have a lot to proud of, like the Texas Longhorns and the Dallas Cowboys. It’s neat to have a mascot that shows respect to the citizens of your state, but other than that, what’s unique about this mascot?

4) Indianapolis Colts

If a colt did not need a literal Texan to care for it at times, then they would would be ranked ahead of them. The logo is cool and all but aside from that, it’s hard to rank a baby horse higher than a Texan, jaguar, or a freaking titan.

AFC WEST

1) Oakland Raiders

A raider is known as a person who will attack an enemy in their territory. They don’t care. They are ruthless individuals that will take what they want and destroy anything in their path. Hard to overlook those facts and say that anything else ranks above them.

2) Kansas City Chiefs

A leader among a group of people, often appointed to the role. Very much respected and tasked with keeping life in check. They make decisions for the betterment of the group and do their part in protecting everyone that may be apart of their kingdom. It does not matter where you go in life, there will always be a chief there to keep things from falling apart.

3) Denver Broncos

A bronco is a cool mascot, but it’s hard to rank them over a raider or a chief because they are most likely being ridden by one of them in some sort of fashion. That automatically makes you less than in the rankings. Their grit and determination to remain wild and untamed gives them the edge over the Chargers.

4) Los Angeles Chargers

Let’s make this simple, very cool name, sweet logo, and awesome color design. Aside from that, a charger is a lighting strike. It only becomes dangerous when there are severe storms and it strikes something and creates a fire.